The Things That Nobody Tells You: Pregnancy

 I'm trying to get back to the basics of why I started this blog & re-evaluating what I want to write about (besides random babbling, which by the way, Kate is very good at right about now :) ) So I thought I'd start with sharing a few things that stood out to me about pregnancy that I wasn't expecting / hadn't heard of before.   We all know about morning sickness.  We all know your hair & nails grow faster because of prenatal vitamins (well, at least they supposedly do).  We all know about the cravings.   But I wanted to talk about some of those lessor known "normal" pregnancy things that nobody ever tells you about.  My fellow Mama wedding blogger friend Jess, from Two Wedding Belles, was so kind as to send me some of her "favorite" pregnancy surprises as well!  This will by no means be an exhaustive list, but I hope will cover some "hmmm, is that normal?" questions you may have. We'll out start with the first 5 from Jess's list...

Your doctor won't see you immediately after you pee on that little piece of plastic. Your excitement in calling your doctor to schedule your first prenatal appointment will undoubtedly be squashed when they tell you they don't see expectant moms until X amount of weeks after your last period (it seems like every office/doc has a different rule). So you're left in this weird preggo limbo until someone with a medical degree actually confirms that you're pregnant. 

Every weird symptom you experience can be explained by the little person growing inside of you. Sure we all sort of know the basics: your belly gets big, your boobs get big, your ankles get big. But itchy armpits? Oh that's because your breast tissue is expanding. That shooting pain in your lower abdomen/groin/upper thighs/butt (which I dubbed lightening crotch)? Yup that's round ligament pain. An out-of-nowhere bloody nose? Pin it all on the baby. 

Google will become your new BFF. See #2 above. In the wee hours of the night, in between scheduled doc appointments, it's oddly reassuring to know you aren't the first expectant mom to type "lightening crotch pregnancy" into the search box. 

They will always provide food at any prenatal class you attend. The instructor doesn't want to deal with hungry, hormonal moms-to-be, trust me. But packing your own snacks is never a bad idea.

Waistbands no longer sit anywhere remotely close to your waist. Get ready to hike up those maternity pants all the way to just under your bra. The stretchy spandex panel that keep your new pants up are kind of awesome (minimizes jiggle, no chance of plumber crack) and kind of awful (in any kind of heat it creates an insulated layer around your already insulated stomach.)

You Don't Get to see the Baby every time you go to the Doctor

I have to say, waiting until I was about 9 weeks to go into the doctor was a HUGE shock for me!  I was expecting to head in to see my OB the next day after I found out & called.  What a surprise... only second to the surprise that I only got 2 mandatory ultra sounds in the pregnancy!!!  Somehow, in my head, I was expecting to get an ultrasound at every visit! Nope. I got one initial "dating" ultrasound (to establish due date) & then the anatomy scan at 20 weeks!   I did elect to have an additional special scan done at 12 weeks to determine the risk for some potential defects & received a "bonus" ultrasound since Kate went 8 days overdue... though at that point I didn't want to see my baby on a screen anymore - I just wanted to see her in person!!!  I know my experience with ultrasounds won't be the same for everyone, but I had a normal low-risk pregnancy (which I am so thankful for) so with that I got very few ultra

You Don't get an internal exam every time you go to the doctor While I'm on my doctor's visits area, I though I'd share this.  Again, I had no clue that you don't get fully examined every time!  After your first visit, and up until 35/36 weeks, you don't get internal exams.  So save yourself the "OB doctor's office prepping" (you know you do it too) because from week 12 - 35ish they are just going to check your weight/pee/blood pressure & listen to the baby's heartbeat.  (which, is the GREATEST sound in the world).  again, this is based on my normal pregancy.

For the first 2 weeks, Your Boobs will KILL.  Seriously.  I was in such pain, I couldn't sleep on my stomach at night (which was the case as my belly grew anyway!)  It was only after this was going on for a few days that I googled & realized that this might be a sign that I was pregnant! I'd just gotten new bra's about a week prior to discovering that I was expecting, so I was initially blaming it on that, but after about 4-5 consecutive days of intense pain (& I'm not usually one to get sensitive at that time of the month) that I realized it may be something more.

It takes a long time to grow a bump. I vividly remember checking multiple times a day to see if I was "showing" yet.  It took me until at least 15-18 weeks to really be able to see a visible baby bump (right around when I started feeling Kate kicking).  Some people even lose weight in the first trimester due to morning sickness (which I thankfully, only had a tiny pinch of.  instead I just dealt with many food aversions) I gained about 3lbs in the first trimester.  The bulk of my weight gain (which is more than I want to share right now) came at the end of the second trimester-beginning of the third trimester.  Followed by an additional 12lbs in the final 3 weeks due to water retention in the scorching hot & humid June/July that we enjoyed here in New England.  My ankles were NOT cute, something I already knew, but the woman who gave me my pre-baby pedicure also felt the need to mention.

It's fun to dress a baby, not a bump. There are just not a lot of cute pregnancy clothes out there.  Or if there are, a) they're expensive (re: more money than I want to spend on something I'm only going to wear for a few months) or b) I didn't find them.  I REALLY wish that stores/designers would just make their normal clothes with a maternity option.  I just don't understand why they don't do this, instead it's as though the word maternity means that they should make things in Grandma-like styles/prints.  I found the Gap, Old Navy, and (for a little splurge on some basics) Rosie Pope to be the best.  Yes, they're 99% mail order, but so worth it. Oh, & don't beat yourself up if you don't look cute & glowing everyday - you're not one of those models who is stick thin with a tiny little bump the size of a cantaloupe.  Or if you are - good for you!  (I know I wasn't!)  & bonus - since it's a bit specialized/hard to come by, many places mark up maternity clothing for much more than the quality of clothes merits... I'm looking at you Motherhood Maternity.

Finally, I'm going to give you a kind of gross one... but I feel the need to be fully honest here (guys, if you're reading stop here).  One would think that when you are pregnant & your period stops, that all discharge would stop.  Not the case.  Especially as you get towards the later stages of your period you may have even more than you did when you we're pregnant.  I was totally surprised by this, so I felt the need to share.  I tried to keep it as least gross as possible, but needed to give you the heads up.

I completely don't mean for this list to scare any future mama's to be (& don't think it will) & know I've probably missed about 50+ other big "things that nobody tells you" - fellow Mama's please feel free to add to the comments below & I'll amend this post to include your suggestions!! :)

xo

p.s.  I think it goes without saying, but no matter what you go through in those 40 weeks of pregnancy - it is all worth it the moment that little bundle of joy arrives.

 

Petal Hat from Zuzii (softest fabric I've ever felt in my life) 

p.p.s. those belly band things that are supposed to extend the wearable life of your regular jeans barely work.  Save your $15 & put it towards some maternity jeans that you'll wear much longer!  oh, & while I'm on that topic - you'll probably be told to "buy your usual size" in the maternity clothes... I suggest buying 1 size up.  The last thing you want to do is spend more money on a new pair of maternity pants with only 1 month to go!!! Also on that note, I highly recommend maxi skits & dresses - I LIVED in mine in the last few months.

***ammended***

Well it seems that the rumours are true - you do forget a lot of what you went through in childbirth AND in pregnancy!  I don't know how I initially forgot to include these!

The saying about "having to pee as much as a pregnant woman" is totally true.  You've got a lot of new pressure & weight on your bladder, which means that you have to go all the time (especially since you should be guzzling water to stay well hydrated).  Oh, and when you do sneeze or cough - be prepared to not be able to control your bladder; a word of advice - once you see a plus sign, throw out the tampons & stock up on the panty liners.

On a somewhat similar topic, let's talk gas.  You'll have lots of it.  It will be uncontrollable.  Again, you've got a bowling ball in your stomach pushing on your organs, which are used to having plenty of room for themselves. I typically burp maybe 3-4 times a year (I know, it's odd) but when I was expecting that upped to 3-4x a week.  Glamorous, I know, but that air has got to go somewhere. Sorry, I'm just telling you the truth!

Oh & your gums may bleed when you brush your teeth (they're inflamed) & your body has a ton more blood pumping through it - which also may lead you to become more lightheaded at times.  I remember a distinct moment in my first trimester, when I was doing Christmas shopping & had to put down all of my items in the wrong department & leave the store to get into my car to sit down.  When I mentioned this to my doctor he said not to worry; & let me know that they get at least 1 call per month from the local Stop & Shop (grocery store) letting them know that they have a pregnant patient passed out in an aisle.  Comforting, right?  Luckily for me this passed by the end of January. (into my second tri)


I also can't not mention braxton-hicks.  No, not one of Toni's sisters (bad joke).  Braxton-hicks are "pre" labor contractions.  They're you're uterus practicing for it's big performance.  They may start around the end of your second trimester & go on & off in your third.  Or you may not experience them at all!  (staying hydrated helps prevent them, btw) But, if you go overdue (ahem) you will probably definitely have some.  While the first time you feel that twinge you may have a slight panic, please don't fret too much, because when it's the real thing you will 100000000% know it!

Finally (for now) I'll add one reader's comment about possibly finding your mucous plug.  I know, gross to the extreme.  Before getting pregnant I'd never even heard of one.  They are just as gross as they sound.  A jellyfish like plug that's helping keep the baby up there.  Most of the time they don't come out until right before or during labor (mine didn't until I was about 3cm after a few hours of contractions) BUT they can start to come out earlier than that.  If you find something jelly-ish (noticeably big) - tell your doc.  More often then not it's fine - they actually can re-grow earlier in the pregnancy.

& there's even more!!!

You will give more blood during this pregnancy than you ever have before in your life. The amount of blood tests you'll have (initial testing, optional testing, glucose bloodwork testing, re-testing) is insane.  I spent so much time going to my local Quest lab for bloodwork - the lady knew me on a first-name/due date basis!  I know this differs by state & doctor's practice, but I just felt the need to warn you - you'll become a pincushion for the next 10 months.

While I'm on the topic of blood... You may also see spots.  Not pretty polka dot spots, but the ugly (potentially undie-ruining) red slightly period-like spots.  In the first trimester, this is usually pretty normal.  Implantation bleeding (google it!) is very very common, and some people experience a little more than that even.  However, it never hurts to call your doctor just to help to give you some piece of mind.  (or especially if you're having severe, severe cramping.  mild cramping is normal too.)

Which brings me to another important point I think is worth making: WORRY. Welcome to mommyhood.  I cannot even begin to tell you how much I worried, especially through the first half of the pregnancy, that something was wrong or would go wrong.  I think it's in all of our nature; and also a right of passage into motherhood (because guess what, once that baby is here it's another whole new set of ongoing worries).  I'm not promising you that nothing will go wrong & I can't tell you not to worry (because I know it doesn't work) but just try your hardest to stay calm & ENJOY being pregnant & trust that your Doctor will let you know if you've anything to be concerned about.  & if you don't trust your doctor or aren't happy with the amount of care you get - then find a different doctor!)  But do know that you're not alone with those late-night wake up fears that something might go wrong.  That is totally normal (& also something nobody ever tells you).  & just wait until baby is here, & tiny & new & the "oh my goodness is he/she still breathing" worries start.  haha :)

Until next revision...  xo

 & MORE! 

Invest in Kleenex - lots of it.  Particularly in the first tri-mester.  Pregnancy makes your nose run like craaaaazy!  Which may also result in extra sneezing & small panics of "oh no - am I getting sick?!  if I'm sick I really shouldn't take any cold medicine while pregnant".  Not fun.  (& be sure to consult your doctor if you actually do get sick on if you should take any cold medicines or not)

Your sleeping habits will change.  You might sleep like a log (or fall asleep without even eating dinner by 6pm)  or wake up every 2 hours (your body's natural way of preparing you, maybe?) You may snore like a lumberjack when you have a big belly.  You make wake up with shooting pains down your leg as your baby pushes against a nerve.  (some people even develop sciatic nerve issues!) Or you might start making some kind of "hmmmmmhpfffffffffhhhhh" noises in your sleep... waking up your husband in a panic.  (Dan can attest to this one).  All more of the normal joys of pregnancy.  :)